1. 25
    Aug

    Farewell Akima…

    Yesterday’s morning started out just like what our normal day is. i woke up at around 9am. as soon as i open my eyes my dogs would greet me with a good morning kiss and tail wagging. there are four of them, akima my oldest dog which is a japanese spitz and west highland white terrier mix that i got as a gift on my 15th birthday on the year of 2005; moymoy and mochi, two adorable aspins that we adopted from our neighbor back in manila and buddy a labrador and poodle mix which we also adopted from my auntie who can no longer take care of him.

    mornings are always delightful especially when you have four lovely dogs waiting for you. after we ate breakfast we saw akima lying on the kitchen floor. i told erwin to give him a bowl of water because i know he is thirsty. we proceeded to sit down and hang for awhile at the front porch, akiima then followed us. he was extremely quiet. i scooped him up off of the floor and carry him like a baby in my arms. i asked erwin to take advantage of the opportunity to give akima his vitamins. he always protest and run whenever we try to do that. after that i went to our bedroom and went online on facebook and yahoo messenger. erwin followed and so is akima. around 11:40am as i was talking to my father online, erwin made a remark that akima looks so sad and weak. i stood up and again scooped him up off the floor and was baby talking him on why he was sad. he was just looking at me, no bark, no whine, no anything. i just assumed he was hungry. i asked the maid to give me some meat so we can feed akima. for quite sometime akima no longer eat in his bowl, i’ve been hand feeding him for who knows how long. he refused to eat so i just lay him down on the bed like a baby and proceeded to talk to my father. a bit later, i was again interrupted by erwin he said that akima looks like he was gasping for breath. i told erwin “don’t be like that,” and that i will just take him to the vet as soon as i’m done talking to my father because what we’re talking about is important. after a few more minutes, erwin spoke and i can’t believe what i thought i heard him say. he said, akima is dying. it was then that i ended my conversation with my dad. i rushed to his side. i uttered the words, “tara na, itakbo na natin sa urdaneta.” in each second akima’s breathing became deeper and slower. erwin keep saying that we will not make it. the only transportation we have is a motorcycle with a broken wheel. urdaneta city is an hour away and waiting for a bus may take an half an hour or so. we were both holding him on our arms we were arguing on what to do. then there is this moment of silent when we both look down on him. he was looking at us with his big brown eyes. i was touching his head. i can feel his pulse on the back of his neck, his slow heavy breathing. i was telling him how much i love him. i was begging him not to leave me. i saw him look at me just like the way he would everytime i was holding him like a baby. he was my baby after all. i was just crying i stopped talking and i allowed time to pass us by while we were looking at each other. then he took his last breath like a big sigh of relief. his lips grew pale and we saw his tongue hang out of his mouth. i took him away from erwin’s chest, crying out loud shaking him trying to wake him up. i was crying on my bed, hugging him tightly kissing his cheeks. i sat there for what seems like an eternity. his open eyes are now closed. he looks like he was just sleeping but he was gone. my baby is gone…

    still crying, i gave the maid some bills and told her to find her husband and ask him to buy a bag of cement for we already have some sand and hollowblocks. i want him to make akima’s grave. meanwhile, i asked erwin to tell my father that akima just died. my father managed to comfort with words saying:  “baka hanggang dyan na lang ang buhay nya,inalagaan mo naman sya ng husto,kung makapagsalita lang yan ,sasabhn nya sayo salamat sa pagalaga mo sa akin,suerte nga nya dahil hndi mo sya pinabayaan.”

    i placed his body carefully on a small table at the back porch. while he was there the other dogs went to check on him. i went to one of the spare room to get a white blanket and cut it in half. i wrapped him there with the head still showing. erwin and i sat near him, my hands still touching his body. the other dogs coming near us from time to time to look at us and see who’s on the table. the entire time when we were there i was secretly hoping that he was just sound asleep. an hour later, my maid’s husband started working on his grave. we chose a spot near our bedroom, in a plant box where we can always see him. as the hours past with the grave slowly taking its form and akima’s body becoming stiff, i decided that it’s time to finally cover him up. as i was wrapping him with the white blanket and preparing to place him inside the prettiest box that i could find, all hopes that he will still wake up is slowly and painfully disappearing. i was still crying while i was carefully sealing the box with tape. he took his last breath at 11:55am he was placed at his tomb at around 3:15pm. i was sitting at a chair under the papaya tree near my window. i was watching while he was lowered down at the little grave that asked be made for him. i was there while kuya bong (the maid’s husband) was pouring cement on top of him. i was thinking it’s going to be dark in there and he doesn’t like it dark. what if he wakes up? when he was completely sealed with cement i was then again reminded with the harsh reality that akima is already gone. the entire time i was there a few people came at my house to sympathize with what happened. news really travel fast. other than updating my facebook status i told 2 of my friends who i know will care (my closest friend from highschool named paola and mjoe who gave akima to me). on top of akima’s grave, i carved in R.I.P. AKIMA 12.6.2004 his birthday and yesterday’s date 8.24.2010 and the phrase WE WILL NEVER FORGET YOU. i lighted a candle on its side and this again grew curiosity on the other dogs. i know they will never understand my words but i still told them that their brother is gone. buddy, the last to arrived in the family was the most comforting of them all. throughout the whole process he never left me. he was always there at my side looking at me as if wondering why i was crying.

    i spent the entire afternoon crying. the night was the hardest. at dinner time, i can’t help but cry. from where i sit at the dining table i’m used to seeing him under the bar stool, then he would sit beside me after i’m done eating and when it’s his time to eat. and when he doesn’t feel like eating, i would ask the maid to leave some food for him so he can have something to eat later on. last night, there was no left over and it was buddy who sat beside me at dinner. his efforts though we’re never neglected. i know he was just trying to comfort me. erwin and i went to the bedroom with the dogs afterwards. we were still talking about akima and how sad that day was. after that we decided to hang out at the back porch where we can directly see akima’s grave. two of my cousins who live with us were there also. around midnight we decided that it’s time to sleep. again, my never ending crying were continued until i fell asleep.

    today, earlier this morning my body was telling me to wake up already. i slowly stretched my legs hoping that i could feel a fur on my feet. i felt nothing other than a tousled blanket. i move my arms, i felt something warm and i saw buddy. when he felt i was awake he immediately stood up and headed to give me a lick on my face. i gave him a lazy pat on the head in return. this usually never satisfies him so i gave him a tight hug instead.

    i sat up on the bed, true enough he was not there. all i saw is an empty spot on the edge of the bed wherein he always stays waiting for me to scoop him up and give him a good morning kiss. i can still remember vividly how sometimes he would get angry at the other dogs especially buddy because he wanted to be the first to give me a good morning kiss. he gets jealous of the other dogs because he wanted me on his own. i opened the window and i saw it was raining outside. a cold wind blew on me and when i turned to the right just below my elevated bedroom is a tiny newly cemented block. it was akima’s grave. so it is true. it wasn’t a bad dream after all. the rest of the day was just plain sad. one less dog to greet me at dawn, one less dog to bathe, to play with, to cuddle. no more akima guarding the stairs near my bedroom door. no more akima chasing even biting strangers off of my yard. no more akima to protect me, to console me…

    akima is more than just a pet, he’s a friend and a family. we’ve been together longer than any of my friends or any of my past relationship even my present. he’s the most loyal companion i could ever have. he’s the only one who can provide me with the comfort i need whenever i’m upset. i will never forget you. especially the way you sympathizes with me when i’m sad. you were the one who was there when i needed a friend. i will never forget the way you lick the tears off of my face when I’m crying. the way you try to mimic the sound of my weeping. i will never forget how you would put your head under my arms so i could give you a rub. the way we cuddle. the way you sleep near my feet, that sometimes you use my leg as your pillow. though you are hard headed sometimes, refusing to eat other than meat. though you have bitten me a lot of times and a few more other people, i will always love you. you will always be my first love. my first son, my first fur baby. forgive me for the times that i have neglected you. for the times that i have left you at the care of the maids, whenever i cannot tend to you. the multiple times that i am tired from school and i cannot play with you. forgive me if i wasn’t able to provide you with the best health care that i can. as you took your last breath in my arms, above of all this, i have loved you and looked at you as more than just a dog and i will always love you. i will continue on loving you wherever you might be by now. you will never be forgotten. you will always be in my heart..

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